2020 BEACH NECESSITIES… IF WE EVER GET THE BEACH BACK

This year has been a year like no other. Our lives are fundamentally different than they were before and the way we relax and unwind has not only fallen to the wayside but has become almost a foreign concept to most people. When every day brings with it a fresh hell reported by the news, it’s hard to find time somewhere in that doldrum to actually consider yourself. Then, if you finally do and want to go to the beach, you’ve got to determine whether or not it’s even open or will remain open, or if it’s even a beach anymore… or just a pile of radioactive sewage. Of course, that hasn’t happened… but if you woke up tomorrow and read that story, would you be surprised? Murder hornets were in our headlines a few weeks ago, I think radioactive sewage on beaches would also be a nice respite from the tragedy that is our news cycle.

Anyway! Once the beaches do open if they do… you’ll need to plan accordingly and effectively. Here are some ideas that are reflective of the time we live in for a nice day at the beach.

  • Masks: For the love of God. Please. Just. Wear. The. Masks. It’s not a political issue, it’s just a chance to be a good person and help the world. Bring a mask. You can take it off here and there to even out your tan, but when you are out in public and around people, just wear the mask.
  • Baseball Bat: Although I doubt you’ll be playing any baseball at the beach, you might need one of these for any number of reasons. We’ve got a whole lot of people angered about closing down and opening up and everything in between, personal protection has never been more important. Even if you don’t plan on taking a Slugger to someone’s head, you might need to take one to a murder hornet… and that is worth preparing for.
  • WiFi Hotspot: Look, let’s face it. Your friends are probably on a number of different sides to this whole situation and getting everyone together these days seems almost impossible. You’ll want something to occupy yourself with while you’re at the beach and a WiFi hotspot… like this one works perfectly. I will caution you and tell you that there might be some people who will accost you about 5G internet and it’s cancerous effects, but luckily you’ll have your baseball bat to protect yourself.
  • Sunscreen: This is a given… always, but for all we know the Earth is currently flying straight towards the sun and the UV rays may be more harmful than ever. Again, there are no reports of this yet, but like I said earlier if I read that tomorrow on any source of any level of reputation… I would not hesitate to believe it. All jokes aside, protect your skin from harmful UV rays, being tan wasn’t always the thing everyone wanted, and all it takes is everyone to stop caring about it for it to stop being a standard of beauty… maybe then we can protect our skin as a collective.

I think it’s pretty clear that this list was in some ways in jest. I do want to point out that the wild nature of everything that has happened this year puts us in a place where anything can happen at any time. Doesn’t take a psychiatrist to notice this blog post is not coming from the most mentally well person, but perhaps that’s the biggest argument I can make for you to take care of your mental health, and find time to unwind in these crazy times. I’m going to go grab my baseball bat and hotspot and head to the beach, see you there!