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Pimpin’ For Paul Jan06

Pimpin’ For Paul

Social Issues – As the Republican primaries began to simmer under pressure, the famous Nevada brothel, Moonlite Bunny Ranch, announced that it would be backing Ron Paul for president, also known as “Pimpin’ for Paul.” “We decided to go with the guy that’s...

Santorum’s Unholy Vow Jan05

Santorum’s Unholy Vow

LGBT – Republican Presidential candidate Rick Santorum announced that if elected president, he would do everything within his power to nullify any currently legal same-sex marriages under a constitutional amendment. During an interview, Santorum explained the importance of imposing one federal marriage law for all 50 states and invalidating any that don’t comply with the new amendment. “If the constitution says ‘marriage is this,’ then people whose marriages are not consistent with the constitution … (shrug),” he said. Determined to abolish the gay in the USA, Santorum has been exceedingly vocal...

Occupy Wall Street Jan01

Occupy Wall Street

Update - January 1, 2012 | OWS – Protestors Re-Take Zuccotti Park! - In a move that reportedly surprised the NYPD, OWS protesters re-claimed Zuccotti park shortly before the New Year rang in. “By about 10:30 p.m., there were more than 300 people inside” and “One man carried a big, white placard that read, ‘New Years Revolution,’” reports The Times. The barricades that surrounded the park after the eviction in November were taken down and the activists were allowed in and out of the park. Some celebrated by dancing on the “piles of barricades” while others celebrated with...

Romney on the Budget Dec31

Romney on the Budget

Social Issues – Among other delusional ramblings, Mitt Romney pledged to cut spending where it needs to be cut most—public television. While pushing his campaign in Iowa on Wednesday, Rom Rom explained that, instead of borrowing money from China for our public broadcasting, we should...

The Fight Goes On Dec20

The Fight Goes On

Human Rights – Protests in Egypt have entered their fourth day, with a total of 13 civilians killed since a new round of fighting began on Friday. Clashes have been met with violence on both sides, with dominant images of police throwing tear gas and protestors throwing stones. Videos of...

Egyptian Atrocities Dec19

Egyptian Atrocities

Human Rights – A video of a female protester in Egypt being beaten by police, with her shirt ripped open to reveal a blue bra, is lighting the blogosphere on fire as the Egyptian military police continued to clash with protestors in Tahrir Square on Sunday. In the video, the army...

That’s All Folks! Dec19

That’s All Folks!

Human Rights – Kim Jong-Il, the 69 year old dictator who could magically control the weather with his moods, died on Saturday from what North Korean propaganda outlets called “physical and mental over-work.” In 2008, Jong-Il suffered a stroke, though the severity of the...

Stripping For Tuition Dec18

Stripping For Tuition

Social Issues – The sex industry is a lot of things-and now it’s mostly a last resort for young scholars in the UK. Sounds wrong, doesn’t it? Well don’t blame the kids. Blame the colleges. Universities say they’ve gotten permission to triple next year’s...

Congressional Blow-Jobs Cost More Dec18

Congressional Blow-Jobs Cost More

Social Issues – According to the latest findings of Public Campaign, a non-partisan corporate watchdog organization, 30 massive U.S. corporations paid more money to Congressional lobbyists than they paid in taxes from 2008 – 2010. The report listed the profitable companies that had lobbying expenditures ranging from $710,000 to a whopping $84.4 million during the period analyzed. Only one of the companies paid federal corporate taxes. General Electric was classified as being the most prolific offender, spending over $39 million on lobbyists in 2010 alone to firms like Federal Policy Group and Capitol Tax Partners. While that might...

5,000 Canadians Dec16

5,000 Canadians

Human Rights – Canada on Thursday urged its citizens to get the hell out of Syria, saying President Bashar Assad’s authoritarian regime “has lost all legitimacy, and its abhorrent behavior will not be tolerated.” The United Nations drastically raised the mounting death...

Questionable Modesty Dec15

Questionable Modesty

Human Rights – Women’s rights are under siege in Israel following a series of events that highlight what many believe is the growing repression of Israeli women. The Israeli army, in which women have served since the state’s inception, has come under fire after it was...

Ron-Ron Does It Again Dec15

Ron-Ron Does It Again

Social Issues – First an ad campaign fashioned after a thriller movie trailer, now this. Ron Paul has released yet another ad campaign, this time targeting technology and spy thriller fans. This campaign is a direct attack on Newt Gingrich and depicts a woman scrolling through a touch...

[Tree] Lighting Warfare Dec14

[Tree] Lighting Warfare

Social Issues – South Korea plans to continue its newfound tradition of lighting Christmas trees along their shared border, much to the chagrin of their Northern, and electrically challenged, counterpart. The practice began last year when South Korea granted permission for a group of...

Billion-Year Plan Dec14

Billion-Year Plan

Human Rights – One of the many questions that people like to think over when considering the future of our planet is what might remain when all else disappears. Well, there is now an answer, as unlikely as it may seem; President Yahya Jammeh of Gambia. Jammeh has informed the BBC in an...

Star Peace Dec14

Star Peace

Social Issues – After a fierce battle between William Shatner and Carrie Fisher regarding whose “space” thriller was better, George Takei stepped up to the plate and called for “Star Peace.” Both Star Trek and Star Wars are important in their own ways, Takei points out, before he calls for them to use the force to defeat the real enemy… Twilight. “[S]ci-fans be warned, there are no great stories, characters, or profound lessons to be found in Twilight. [...] In Twilight, the only message that rings through loud and clear is “Does my boyfriend like me?” We have to agree. Vampires do not...

Chavez in a Manger Dec14

Chavez in a Manger

Social Issues – Venezuela has a new take on the traditional nativity scene, replacing the newborn baby Jesus with Sean Penn’s favorite socialist president. The pompous display, which shows Hugo Chavez standing before the traditional crib-in-a-manger, has stirred up controversy in...

Awkward Moments Dec14

Awkward Moments

Civil Rights – To avoid any awkward situations, Mitt Romney shouldn’t be allowed within 100 feet of any homosexual – because you know, they like to ask questions. Seduced by the guise of a flannel shirt and a Vietnam hat, Romney approached Garon with a smile, proudly...

Voiding Personhood Dec13

Voiding Personhood

Civil Rights – Oh, multibillion dollar conglomerates, always confusing excessive amounts of cash with free speech – Let Los Angeles spell it out for you. The LA City Council voted to support a measure for a constitutional amendment that would state that corporate giants are NOT...

Mary Power Is Cold Dec13

Mary Power Is Cold

Social Issues – Mary Power, 92, is worried about surviving another scathing New England winter, because this year her federal home heating assistance benefits will drop from $1,035 to $685, which means she likely won’t be able to afford enough heating oil to stay warm. She resides...

Mugabe Forever?!? Dec13

Mugabe Forever?!?

Human Rights – For all those of us who thought we might be able to sleep easy following Zimbabwe’s 2013 elections, we must think again. Mugabe has decided that he’s not going anywhere. Retiring would, according to the man who has ruled Zimbabwe with an iron fist since its...

Forcing Action Dec13

Forcing Action

Human Rights – Theresa May, British Home Secretary, has announced plans to make forced marriages a criminal offense under UK law. Described by Prime Minister David Cameron as “little more than slavery,” action against those who perpetrate these crimes is long overdue. A study conducted in February revealed that forced marriages are an underrepresented and increasing problem in the UK. Figures indicated that, in 2010, there were 1,735 reported incidents involving British citizens registered by the forced marriage unit (FMU). It was also found that over half of these reported cases had ties to Pakistan. Adding to the urgency...

National Unity Dec12

National Unity

Human Rights – UN Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon heralded the swearing in of the Government of National Unity in Yemen, calling it “an important milestone in implementing the transitional agreement in the country.” According to a spokesperson, Ban commended “the...

The Oddest Throw-Back Dec12

The Oddest Throw-Back

Civil Rights – Whose brilliant plan was it to slap the faces of Frederick Douglas and Susan B. Anthony on the new anti-abortion bill? Oh, right GOP lawmakers. Right away, any socially-aware person can see the problem here. But for the confused, I shall explain: the new faces of pro-life...

Alabama Reform Dec12

Alabama Reform

Civil Rights – After the recent fiasco involving two German workers in Alabama being detained for not carrying proper identification, the state of Alabama is rethinking their immigration strategy. Oh Alabama – maybe you are learning! Republican Governor Robert Bentley said that he...

Palestinians Invented Dec11

Palestinians Invented

Social Issues – U.S. Republican Presidential front-runner and former Speaker of the House, Newt Gingrich, recently had everyone applauding when he said he supported a peace agreement between Israel and the Palestinians. However, even after he made the distinction of the two separate...

For Fair Elections Dec11

For Fair Elections

Civil Rights – Tens of thousands of Russians have taken to the streets to criticize election fraud and call for an end to autocrat Vladimir Putin’s reign, with an even larger protest called “For Fair Elections” set to take place. The protests that took place in the wake...

“The Word Is Rape” Dec10

“The Word Is Rape”

Human Rights – Rape is a cringe-worthy word that rarely ever needs to be defined, except to the Federal Bureau of Investigation. From 1929, a time when showing your knee was prohibited, to today, when you’re told to not dress like a slut or you’ll get raped; the FBI has used...

Fight for Egypt Dec09

Fight for Egypt

Human Rights – Egypt looks set for a further series of political clashes after the ruling military declared that they, and not the elected-MPs, would have final say over the new constitution. With protests still ongoing, this is likely to inflame tensions even further and place an...

Plan B? Dec09

Plan B?

Social Issues – In a move reminiscent of the Bush administration, President Obama has overruled an FDA decision that would rightfully make Plan B available over the counter, and thus accessible to all females of childbearing age. “Taken up to 72 hours after sex, Plan B greatly...

Cold War 2 Dec08

Cold War 2

Social Issues – The little-known “cold war” between Tehran and its enemies across the Middle East is heating up, bringing with it a wider risk of conflict. It is driven by the speculation that Israel might strike Iran’s nuclear program, which is believed to be...