Boner Blunder

Penis Enlargers for Diabetes!

Just this Thursday, a man pleaded guilty to charges that he shipped penis enlargers to diabetes patients—the problem was that the patients had never even ordered them to begin with!

Part of a personally invasive Medicare fraud scheme costing between $1 and $2.5 million dollars, Gary Winner admitted to four different charges after appearing in the U.S District Court in Providence. Accused of buying $26 penis enlargers, repacking them and then shipping them off, Winner claimed his angle was to help diabetes patients with “bladder control, urinary control and prostate comfort.”

Prosecutors allege that Winner used his medical equipment company, Planned Eldercare, to target medical beneficiaries and coax them into giving him their Medicare information. The targeted majority was a mix of diabetes and arthritis patients, prosecutors said.

Diabetes patients received repackaged penis enlargers along with an information sheet saying that “regular use” increases blood flow in the urinary tract–Winner then went on to charge Medicare $284 for each pump, a number that amounted to $370,000 according to authorities.

Clearly Winner had done his homework, it turns out that Medicare reimburses for products that treat impotence and erectile dysfunction, and Winner had charged Medicare for the “equipment,” claiming that the devices (obviously) treated erectile dysfunction. Here’s the hole in Winner’s plan however: Medicare requires that the devices be “medically necessary,” so when the patients came forward with reports about their odd package in the mail, it raised some concern… Something wasn’t adding up. The pumps that Winner shipped out were of “no medical purpose.” -Nothing more than an awkward encounter with the UPS guy.

Agreeing to forfeit $2.2 million, Winner now faces up to 33 years in prison (God willing he won’t get beaten up in there). He will be sentenced February 10.

Read more at AP and Business Week.